Thursday Thirteen #52

A few weeks ago, Grace over at Sandier Pastures did a fascinating TT about things she could have said, maybe wanted to say, but never actually did say.  I thought this was a brilliant idea and so I have stolen it.   Here is a list of thirteen things that I could have said at various stages in my life, but never did – probably just as well really.  Some date back to the angst ridden teenage years, others are more recent, though there is nothing from my immediate past.  Anyway I hope you enjoy….

...........Thirteen things I could have said, but didn’t!

x

I know I have made a complete mess of this and I thank you all for pretending so sweetly that I haven’t.

Sometimes it is hard even to pretend that I agree with you.

I don’t know why you persist in calling her “a girl with spirit” when all she is is violent and abusive.  When she can’t get her own way she destroys your property and assaults you in public.  Your friends hate seeing you humiliated like this. You need to dump her right now.

We work together and because you are my boss I have to pretend to like you, but I think you are an over promoted buffoon who is completely out of touch with reality.  I’d like to be your friend but I just can’t.

I’d rather be dating your sister.

You must be the only person in London who doesn’t know that your son is gay.  Why do you keep trying to match him up with all these women he obviously isn’t interested in?

I’m sure you have no idea how happy I am every time I get an e-mail from you, and you probably never will know because I can’t tell you.

You are a boring, pompous old fart and you are talking a lot of superstitious drivel.  I don’t want to waste my Sunday mornings sitting on this hard bench listing to this crap any more. There are so many other things I would rather be doing.

You are very kind and I wouldn’t hurt your feelings for anything, but you just can’t cook worth a damn!

I don’t know what this will do to our friendship, but your mother just made a pass at me.

If I know that each of you is cheating on the other, how come you haven’t found out?

Hey everyone,  Mr XXXX is not the hero he makes out he is. He is the one who fucked up a whole week’s work, and it was me and my colleagues who actually put everything right again, no thanks to him.  He just hovered about as we did it and is now trying to make everyone think he saved the day, and is hiding the fact that he caused the problem in the first place.

I can't prove it but I know for absolutely certain that you are helping yourself to the petty cash.  One day I'll catch you !

=

Comments

[Ann Bruce]

LMAO!

BTW, I might steal this idea for next week.

[The Gal Herself]

"I’m sure you have no idea how happy I am every time I get an e-mail from you, and you probably never will know because I can’t tell you." Thank you for including this one. It has inspired me to add it to the end of my next email to my best friend. Life's too short not to tell those we love, right?

And if you *really* could have said this at one time, it deserves its own post: "I don’t know what this will do to our friendship, but your mother just made a pass at me."

[AnthonyNorth]

Beautiful irony - and truth - in some of those.
Excellent.

[Holly]

You know what - this one is good enough to steal the idea for! Hmmm, I bet I could come up with more than 13. Good post. Really - I want to make sure I say it so I don't wish I had later.

Smiles,

Holly
http://theabundanceplace.com

[The Happy Housewife]

My personal favorite...
"Sometimes it is hard even to pretend that I agree with you"

[Chelle Y.]

I could write things that I shouldn't say, but I did. Haha!

I am always putting my foot in my mouth.

[pussreboots]

Awww... no books this week.

[SJ]

You have surpassed yourself and may as well quit because you will NEVER come up with anything as wonderful as this. (see, I said it)

The worst of it is I've said different versions of your various comments to people. It is probably why I get few Christmas Cards and am rarely invited into polite society.

BTW - I've been told the same thing about my cooking - as if I give a rip!

SJR
The Pink Flamingo

[Lara]

Beautiful...just beautiful!! Every day I find myself biting my lip to avoid saying some of these very things! That's why I just can't watch that Jim Carrey movie "Liar, Liar". It gives me nightmares thinking of what would happen if I said what I really was thinking!
Great post!

[On a Limb with Claudia]

Oh I love this! I should do one. But you know, scratch the surface of the middle child and you find only apathy. lol! I have a couple favorites: "You must be the only person in London who doesn’t know that your son is gay." damn how many times.... and "over promoted buffoon who is completely out of touch with reality". Of course the cooking thing reminded me of Joyce on Midsommer Murders!

Promise me that you will just tell me! :)

Happy TT

[Courtney]

Those were great! You so should have actually said some of them.

[Shaunesay]

Awesome list, I have so many of those moments myself! I often recount them later with the added "okay, I didn't really say that, but I wanted to!"

Thanks for the welcome!

[SandyCarlson]

"I'd rather be dating your sister" spells disaster for the next family gathering! These are clever and fun. God bless.

[susiej]

WOW! These are not only funny... but very interesting. I mean, a story, a very good story, is lurking behind every one of these. Very intriguing list.

[DK Raymer]

Hi Nicholas! Thanks for stopping by my place this week. I loved reading your comments. I think each one is a terrific start for a collection of short stories.

[Lazy Daisy]

Interesting list for sure....now are you ever really going to say any of these things to the appropriate people?

[Lori]

LMAO...OMG what a great list. You totally made me laugh. Impressive:) You really are a silly boy, arent you? Happy TT my sweet friend and thanks for stopping by.

[Ashley Ladd]

Thanks for visiting my blog.

LOL to your Thursday 13 this week.

Congrats on finishing the first draft of your wip.

[Grace]

"I’d rather be dating your sister."

I reckon you wanted to say this to your wife's sister before you got married? ;-)

Great list! Happy TT. Next, we should do the things we shouldn't say but DID, like you suggested.lol!

[Nicole Austin]

LOLOL! Great list. "I'd rather be dating your sister." You should have said that one!

[Cordia Amant]

I did this for a recent TT, and I must say it is wonderfully liberating to write down things you haven't said.

[Cordia Amant]

I did this for a recent TT, and I must say it is wonderfully liberating to write down things you haven't said.

[Natalie]

Some of those made me chuckle and they all made me curious.

[Morgan]

What a wonderful TT. I'm trying to imagine who you would've said these to.

:)

[marcia v]

hmmm do you think anyone recognized themselves or their loved one? I might have