A Gentleman's Domain

Smugness!

Concerning the inclement weather that has swept across much of the USA in recent days, I cannot help feeling a bit smug.  This satellite photo shows the sheer size of the storm, but you'll notice Florida, down in the bottom right, clear and unaffected.  Pass me another tee-shirt, m'dear; I'm off for a stroll in the sunshine!

Remember, remember, the fourth of July

In 1605, on the fifth day of November, a group of malcontents led by one Robert Catesby, attempted to blow up the Houses of Parliament in London.  They managed to store several large barrels of gunpowder in the cellars beneath the House of  Lords, and they planned to blow them up on a day when King James I would be addressing members of both Houses there.  The plot, however, was betrayed and the conspirators were rounded up. One of them was actually captured in the cellar where he was preparing to light the fuse and retire immediately (There is a very lifelike representation of that occasion in Madame Tussaud’s waxwork museum in London).   He was Guido, or Guy, Fawkes and he is the best remembered of the conspirators.

Since then, the fifth of November has been the day, or rather night, when that deliverance has been commemorated.  It is known variously as Bonfire Night, Fireworks Night or, usually, Guy Fawkes Night.   The occasion is celebrated by the letting off of fireworks and by burning Guy Fawkes in effigy on bonfires – except at Lewes in Sussex where every year the townspeople gather to burn the Pope in effigy, since this was seen, not completely inaccurately, as a Catholic plot.  It can be fun.  I have enjoyed many Guy Fawkes parties, and I like setting off fireworks as much as the next person – my faves are rockets.

What always used to annoy me was people who decided to set their fireworks off just to annoy other people – like at three o’clock in the morning.  If you want to be very, very charitable you could suggest that maybe these were people doing shift work, and who were unable to celebrate the occasion any earlier.  I would be touched by your open mindedness but I would disagree with you.  People who do that are yobs and dickheads.  They get more pleasure from the knowledge that they are making  loud noises in the middle of the night, to disturb people, than they do from the occasion itself.  There was little  that one could do about it though, except wait for it to end.

In the last couple of years, though, I have discovered that the same kind of dickheaddery also attends the celebration of the fourth of July.   For most people, the day is a matter of parties, cookouts, barbecues, get-togethers at the homes of friends or family members, and after dark a firework display, either private or at some civic venue.  And a jolly good time is had by all.   But then, way into the night, when all that can be heard outside are the crickets and the tree frogs (I speak of where I live – I suspect the Sound of the Night is different in, say, Manhattan or Detroit), the firework morons start up.  They have a definite preference for fireworks that go bang – never mind beautiful displays of coloured lights. And they do not confine themselves to the fourth.  The days, or rather nights, leading up to the fourth, and away from it, are equally assailed by their detonations.  I fully expect tonight to be the same.  I am resigned to it, but I must admit that I am hoping for a torrential downpour, to wash them out!
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It isn't always easy being a pedestrian in Florida!

Being bilingual with only one language

One of my favourite ports of call when I am surfing is Rasmenia, a blog which is consistently interesting and entertaining.  I always enjoy it, and if she doesn’t post something new after a few days I get impatient.  “Come on, girl,” I mutter, “Off your derriere and get typing!”   But of course she is living la vie en rose in Paris and is often too busy flitting from bistro to brasserie, from one pavement café to another night spot, and she can’t be expected to drop everything for her readers. I know I wouldn’t!

Anyway, I was very pleased to see that yesterday she offered us an amusing insight into “American  English”  if there is such a thing.  Well, yes, of course there is.  It is, as she rightly says, a dialect: one which is more identified by vocabulary than by grammar or syntax.  Whenever the subject comes up, someone is bound to quote George Bernard Shaw’s tired old comment that Britain and America are two nations separated by a common language.  That may actually have been quite witty when he said it, but of course it’s completely wrong.  As was the prediction made in the first half of the 20th century by several people who should have known better, that in time the two Englishes would eventually differ so much from each other that Americans and Brits would end up speaking two completely different languages.  That might have happened if no one had ever crossed the Atlantic, and there had been no records, radio, films or television.  But as it is, English usages on both sides of the Atlantic (and elsewhere) have had a constant effect on each other.

In Britain we might not talk about elevators, garbage, gasoline, baby carriages or oatmeal (sticking with lifts, rubbish, petrol, prams and porridge instead) but we do know what they mean, and if we hear those terms used in a movie (or film, as we say) we are not struck dumb in incomprehension.  I mean, gosh, it is actually possible to see en entire American TV show without having to reach for one’s American-British dictionary!

It used to be that most of the vocabulary moved in one direction: America to Britain. That was due to two big influences, namely Hollywood and World War Two, when millions of US servicemen were stationed in Britain.  Now, I notice, words are moving east to west.  A few examples come to mind immediately, such as the use of the word queue, and I frequently see cell phones referred to as mobiles.  I have even come across (I blush as I type) the word wanker being bandied about in American TV shows, and not just by British characters.  My American wife, who is as Anglophile as it is possible to be, often points British usage out to me when I would otherwise not have noticed.  The expression “gone missing” is apparently a newish import (mind you, she insists that one best selling American writer’s tendency to use British terms in his writing is nothing more than mindless affectation). I even see British style spellings creeping in here and there, especially in the names of buildings, apartment complexes etc.  Harbour, for example, and Centre.

So when a French person asked Rasmenia if she, as an American, had had trouble understanding the natives when she visited England, he was missing the point completely.  There is only one English – we just tweak it differently.

Sometimes in ways that defy explanation.  In Britain, letters and parcels are carried by the Royal Mail, but everyone talks about “the post” while in America the body responsible is the U.S. Postal Service, but everyone refers to it as “the mail”.  All very strange.
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She Makes 'Em Palin To Insignificance

Here’s something for a quick laugh.  Look at this.  It seems that a certain Bimbo was hogging the limelight at the Republican Governors’ Conference in Florida. They met as equals, but that fiction didn’t last long!  The media were only interested in one Governor, to the chagrin of all the others. A few of them were interviewed but a lot of them might as well have stayed at home.   Make sure you also click on the link for the photo and see the Gubernatrix in question with her infuriated colleagues behind her looking for all the world like a row of pissed off chorus boys!  But take comfort – 2012 is a long way away.
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How Dare Those People Lose Everything They Own?

Always keen to explore what’s out there, to seek out new blogs and new civilisations, I boldly went today to a blog called Five Feet Of Fury.    Fury is right.  It’s one of those angry, mouth-foaming right wing blogs by someone who is consumed with loathing for anyone who is not exactly like him/her.  The conservative blogosphere is like that – they seem perpetually angry, always wanting to make life as miserable as possible for everyone else. Go have a look, if you’re not trying to digest something.

Just an example.  The mismanagement of the aftermath of Hurricane Katrina was a disgrace.  Over a thousand killed, and the federal government unable to get any help to the stricken area for days.  Sixty nations offered aid, but all were refused so that Washington wouldn’t lose face by accepting.  “You’re doing a heck of a job, Brownie!”  Subtext: who gives a shit about poor black people anyway (Remember what we learned from Fox News?  White people forage, black people loot).  I always thought that Barbara Bush was an insensitive cow for saying that the victims who had lost everything they owned were lucky because now they get to live in Texas.  But that was just a spoiled rich woman’s ignorance.  Sooner or later, the victims get the blame. That often happens. In this case, Five Feet of Bullshit Fury treats the hurricane victims as criminals and parasites. 

Katrina surviors complain to this day that "the guvmit" didn't do enough for them, fast enough, politely enough. Gave 'em only $1000 debit cards to spend on lap dancers instead of, say, $5000. Made 'em move all the way to Huston where they were welcomed with open arms -- and promptly doubled the murder  rate. Gave 'em yucky trailers -- damn it, why is the State giving people trailers in the first place, and double damn it, you people lived in yucky trailers in the first damn place. Under frickin' sea level.

The sad things is (apart from the obvious tragedy that anyone could be that ignorant) is that people like that will never be persuaded otherwise. Their anger and contempt is all they have.
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Warning: Sour Grapes May Make You Bitter

There's a rather sad article yesterday's edition of London's  Mail On Sunday  by that well-known life-loving pixie, Peter Hitchens, entitled "The night we waved goodbye to America..."  in which he postulates (nice word, that: I don't think I have ever used it before) that the USA is now fallen into the hands of a left-wing dictator totally incapable of running the country.  It's difficult to know exactly how to describe the main thrust of this article, although the words "drivel", "mindless" and "a load of" do spring to mind.

Yes, I will concede that Obama’s victory speech did contain the odd anodyne phrase or two, and yes, he did say “Yes we can” a time or two too often. Big deal.  It wasn't anything to do with cults, or brainwashing -- it was euphoria that the right man had won and that what has gone before is about to come to an end, and not a momen too soon. But Obama as a socialist?  A left winger? For shame, Peterkins!  Obama could fit very comfortably in the centre of the British Conservative party.  He is pro capital punishment, hasn’t said a word about universal free healthcare for life, has never advocated public ownership of production or distribution.  Granted, in the USA a left winger is someone who doesn’t advocate public execution of people who don’t go to church and a Marxist is someone who cares about the welfare of people who aren’t white and rich, but in the real world Obama is as much a socialist as Hitchens is.

Anyway, read the article if you want. And if you don’t, you won’t be missing much.  Today’s Mail On Sunday will be lining bird cages tomorrow. There is, though, one point I’d like to make.  Hitchens implies that Obama is totally unsuited as an advocate for poor blacks in the USA because

Mr Obama, thanks mainly to the now-departed grandmother he alternately praised as a saint and denounced as a racial bigot, has the huge advantages of an expensive private education. He did not have to grow up in the badlands of useless schools, shattered families and gangs which are the lot of so many young black men of his generation.

And your point is?   Do you forget that two of the twentieth century’s strongest advocates for the rights of the common man,  FDR  and JFK, were high born from an undeniably patrician background?  The one does not rule out the other.

I was delighted to see the other Hitchens brother, Christopher, on the election night coverage panel on BBC America for an hour or so that evening, and he welcomed Obama’s success.  As we all should.
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Hell's Bimbo

OMFG!!  It looks as though John McCain’s dignified concession speech is about as good as it gets as far as the Republicans are concerned.  Of course, any losing side in an election will hold an inquest, examine where its weaknesses were and generally make plans to do better next time.  One or two sacrificial heads may roll -- that is to be expected -- but in general it’s always a good thing to keep recriminations as restrained as possible

Things in the Republican camp may be a bit more vigorous than that right now.  If we are to believe what we read and hear (And why shouldn’t we?  The meltdown is delicious!) there is a  vast build-up of latent hostility between the McCain camp and the Palin camp that is about erupt into a bout of name calling , finger pointing and backstabbing .  And Sarah herself it seems, is not the adorable bimbo everyone thought she was.  Okay, she was a bimbo, but not adorable (Well, some people thought she was adorable. I always found her repulsive).  We all know that she had no idea what the function of the Vice President is, and that she seemed to think that the First Amendment existed to protect her from the probing questions of reporters.  Now it appears that she didn’t know which countries were included in NAFTA.  And she thought that Africa was a country, not an entire continent.  Yes, she could always be advised about these facts but surely, someone who wanted to understudy the presidency, who has reached the age of 44 and who has been through university, should already know these things.  These aren’t arcane details of something outside the mainstream -- these are essential facts.

Have a look at this  clip from The O’Reilly Factor on the Fox News network, which isn’t exactly known for its love of the Democrats.  Tantrums?  Paper throwing?  Making her staff weep?  So much for adorable.  America had a narrow escape last Tuesday. 

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The First Tuesday After The First Monday...

         

 Oh what joy in this moment to be alive!
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Get Out Of That!

I expect a lot of you have seen this already, but if not, I’ll post it here.  It just seems to me that McCain is getting worn out by this campaign.  It can’t be easy for a person, let alone someone of his age.  Pennsylvania is one of the states McCain needs to win, and he won’t do it if he fluffs his lines like this, and then, as he is trying to get his foot out of his mouth, makes it worse.  Watch the expressions of some of the people behind him when he calls Pennsylvanians racists.  Possibly some of them are wondering if it's too late to call in Fred Thompson.
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