A Gentleman's Domain

Thursday Thirteen #96

Here’s another selection of titles from my To Be Read shelf. The thing that these ones have in common is that they are the 13 longest books I own but have not yet read. All of these are over 600 pages long – some are considerably longer than that. Maybe it is the sheer size of these books that has put me off reading them. Anyway, friendly TTers, can you tell me anything about any of these? Any that you recommend? Any that you would like to warn me not to bother reading? All opinions and comments will be most welcome.

Thursday Thirteen #93

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Since I am in England right now, it’s fitting, I suggest, that for my first TT for quite a while I should feature thirteen books that I own, and have read, that are set entirely in England, with brief snippets of opinion. Agreement and argument are both equally welcome.

 

Thursday Thirteen #92

My first TT for some weeks, and I'm going back to books again!   Another selection of books that have been sitting unread on my shelves.  My TBR list never gets any shorter.  Have you read any of these?  Any good ones here?  Any stinkers?.

Thursday Thirteen #91

I keep a list of the books I read (start to finish – any book abandoned before the last page doesn’t make it onto the list), and I tend to lose count after a few weeks, so I like to count them up on New Year’s Day and see what the total was.   In 2008 I read 101 books.  In 2009 I must have had more time, or maybe I read a bit faster in my old age, because I read 134 books.   Here are thirteen of the best of them:

The Blood Doctor  by Barbara Vine (who is better known as Ruth Rendell).  This is an excellent story about a man researching an ancestor of his, a doctor who specialized in treating haemophilia sufferers. It took a little while to see exactly where this story was going but it was so well written, and the background of the main character, who is caught up in later 20th century political reform, made it an irresistible read.

Lord Of The North  by Bernard Cornwell.  I had to include one by my favourite author!  This is the third novel in his series about Uhtred, the dispossessed son of a nobleman in ninth century England – before there was such a country as England, in fact.  This was the time of King Alfred, the Vikings, and feuding between the small kingdoms that made up the island.  Beautifully told, in great, accurate detail.

The Unbreakable Child  by Kim Michelle Richardson.  This story sends you to the depths of gloom and despair, then it rescues you and ends on a note of optimism.  And it’s not a novel – it’s a true story.  The author recounts her experiences of living for nine years in an orphanage in Kentucky in the 1960s and of the violent abuse she and her fellow orphans suffered from the nuns who ran the place.  I don’t mean the occasional slap on the wrist or even upside the head --  I mean unending, unprovoked violence.  Two scenes that stick in my mind are of the nine-year-old author punched in the stomach by a nun until she vomits, and then forced to eat her own vomit.  Another time, the child had to be hidden away from a visiting social worker because she bore so many marks of violence upon her.  Later, Ms Richardson and several other former inmates launched a lawsuit against the Catholic Church, whose lawyers did their best to maintain that (a) there was no violence and (b) if there was, what did it matter? The subtitle on the cover of the book is “A story about forgiving the unforgivable”    I think it is wonderful that Kimmi can forgive those nuns.  I can’t, and I wasn’t even there!  Buy this book, and read it!

The Doctor’s Signature  by Hamilton Johnston.   I found this novel, published in 1955 and as far as I know never reprinted, on a shelf in my father’s library.  I had never heard of it, and I can find no reference to it anywhere, but I enjoyed it a lot.  It’s a story about a GP in an unnamed town in England, and how he mixes with some of the more influential members of local society.  I think this would make an excellent 6-part BBC drama for Sunday evenings.

The Associate  by John Grisham.  I’ve only read one book by Grisham that I didn’t like.  All the rest have been absolute page turners. This one was no exception.

Imperium  by Thomas Harris.  An excellent novel of Ancient Rome, centred around the character of Marcus Cicero as told by Tiro, his secretary and slave.  Period detail abounds.  Wonderfully readable.

Moab Is My Washpot  by Stephen Fry.  There seems to be nothing that Stephen Fry can’t do!  Author, playwright,  actor, librettist, journalist, tweeter, quiz show host and all-round nice chap (actually, on his own admission, he can’t sing).  This is his autobiography that takes him up to early adulthood – his schooling, his coming to terms with being gay, a compulsion to steal that lands him in prison.  Fry doesn’t hold anything back, and I have to say that he doesn’t come across as a completely likable young man – but he is certainly an interesting one.  The book ends when he gets out of prison and determines to turn his life around – with what result we all know.

World Without End  by Ken Follett.  This was announced as a sequel to Follett’s wonderful The Pillars of the Earth, though in fact it was set two centuries later and, naturally, with none of its characters.  This is no sequel – it is a stand alone novel, about  a town in 14th century England, the people who live there and how the Church, in the form of the local monastery, tries to control their lives.  A long, absorbing tale, excellently written.

Too Much  by Donald E. Westlake.  One of Westlake’s comic thrillers.  A man pretends to be identical twins so that he can date a woman and her sister – on separate occasions of course.  It’s not as easy as it sounds.  Actually, it doesn’t sound easy at all!  How long does he manage to keep up the deception?  You’ll have to read it to find out.

The Big Picture  by Douglas Kennedy.  The main character is an affluent, professional, middle class American with the usual wife, home, family, car and the other trappings of apparent success.  With one hasty act he loses it all, and finds himself forced to hide out west in small town Montana.  The narrative races along.  An excellent thriller.

The God Delusion  by Richard Dawkins.  An unapologetic examination of the pestilence of religion, as Dawkins sees it.  I tend to agree with him.  This book wont make atheists out of believers, but it will probably make atheists out of doubters and fence-sitters.

A Prisoner Of Birth  by Jeffrey Archer.  Many people have looked down on Jeffrey Archer, and not always without justification.  This novel is a million miles from his earlier clumsy, naïve style of writing.  This is a gripping story of a crime, an innocent man framed, an escape.  A lot of it takes place in prison.  Since Archer spent two years as a guest of Her Majesty’s prison system, we can be sure that those parts are completely accurate.

The Manhattan Beach Project  by Peter Lefcourt.  I read this because I had enjoyed Lefcourt’s The Deal.  This is also about thee entertainment industry: a satire on the way TV networks operate.  It’s about a reality show centred on a warlord in Uzbekistan and his family, his henchmen and other associates.  It becomes a cult success in the USA, with complications for all involved.
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Thursday Thirteen #90

After every flight, airline pilots fill out a form called a gripe sheet, which conveys to the mechanics any problems encountered with the aircraft during the flight. The mechanics correct the problem and then respond in writing on the lower half of the form what action was taken. Here are thirteen ACTUAL logged maintenance complaints and problems as submitted by pilots of the Australian airline Qantas and the solution recorded by maintenance engineers.

By the way, Qantas is the only major airline that has never had an accident:

(P = The problem logged by the pilot.)
(S = The solution and action taken by the mechanics.)

P: Left inside main tire almost needs replacement.
S: Almost replaced left inside main tire.

P: Test flight OK, except auto-land very rough.
S: Auto-land not installed on this aircraft.

P: Something loose in cockpit.
S: Something tightened in cockpit.

P: Dead bugs on windshield.
S: Live bugs on back-order.

P: Autopilot in altitude-hold mode produces a 200 feet
per minute descent.
S: Cannot reproduce problem on ground.

P: Evidence of leak on right main landing gear.
S: Evidence removed.

P: DME volume unbelievably loud.
S: DME volume set to more believable level.

P: Friction locks cause throttle levers to stick.
S: That's what they're there for.

P: Suspect crack in windshield.
S: Suspect you're right.

P: Number 3 engine missing.
S: Engine found on right wing after brief search.

P: Aircraft handles funny.
S: Aircraft warned to straighten up, fly right, and be serious.

P: Target radar hums.
S: Reprogrammed target radar with lyrics.

P: Mouse in cockpit.
S: Cat installed.

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Thursday Thirteen #89

Last week I listed thirteen movies I have never seen.  This week it's TV programs.   They are all pretty mainstream, and all are successful,  but I have never felt any inclination to watch them.  They neither interest nor attract, so I don't bother.

Thirteen TV Shows I Have Never Seen

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American Idol

CSI (any of them)

The Biggest Loser

Entourage

Oprah

Will And Grace

Numb3rs

Survivor

Grey's Anatomy

The View

Bones

Southland

Everybody Loves Raymond
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Thursday Thirteen #88

Either due to disinclination, lethargy or lack of opportunity, here are

Thirteen Movies I Have Never Seen

E.T.

Terminator

The Princess Diaries

Apocalypse Now

The Sound Of Music

The Passion Of The Christ

The Lion King

Reservoir Dogs

The Wizard of Oz

Gandhi

Toy Story

It's A Wonderful Life

Dances With Wolves

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Thursday Thirteen #87

If you have ever been in the unhappy situation of having to make an insurance claim following a car accident, you’ll know that on the claim form you have to say what happened.  I found the following in a book called Anguished English  by Richard Lederer.  They are excerpts from actual accident reports from people making claims on their motor insurance.  Here are thirteen examples.

1.    Coming home, I drove into the wrong house and collided with a tree I don’t have.

2.    I was thrown from my car as it left the road. I was later found in a ditch by some stray cows.

3.    I saw a slow moving, sad faced old gentleman, as he bounced off the hood of my car.

4.    A truck backed through my windshield and into my wife’s face.

5.    I had been driving for about 40 years when I fell asleep at the wheel and had an accident.

6.    The guy was all over the road.  I had to swerve a number of times before I hit him.

7.    My car was legally parked as I backed into the other vehicle.

8.    The accident happened when the right front door of a car came around the corner without giving a signal.

9.    The other man changed his mind and I had to run into him.

10.    The indirect cause of the accident was a little guy in a small car with a big mouth.

11.    The pedestrian ran for the pavement but I got him.

12.    In an attempt to kill a fly, I drove into a telephone pole.

13.    A cow wandered into my car.  I was later informed that the unfortunate cow was half-witted.

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Thursday Thirteen #86

There are a great many things I have never done.  I suppose we can all say that.  Anyway, either through choice, lack of opportunity, lethargy or simple good fortune, the following are...

13 Things I Have Never Done

I have never been to Las Vegas.  Well,  I could say that about most places in the world, but Vegas is different, somewhere millions of people do visit, and somewhere I’d like to go.  My wife, however, loathes the very idea of the place, so it looks as though I shall not be going.  It’s not as though I could sneak off there one evening without anyone finding out.

I have never used a Blackberry, iPhone or Mac.  Actually, now I come to think of it, I have seen them in stores, on display but I have never seen one being used.

I have never been in hospital as an adult.  When I was five, I spent one night in hospital with suspected appendicitis.  False alarm.  Never been back.

I have never sung Karaoke.  In fact I have never been anywhere where it was happening.  Seeing “Karaoke Friday Nights!” on a poster outside a bar is a very good reason to wait until Saturday before going there.

I have never watched American Idol.  I don’t really care for people singing songs,  especially those sort of people and those sort of songs, so I have no plans ever to do so.  Also, I have never watched Eastenders,  Coronation Street,  Brookside or  Emmerdale Farm.  Those names will only have significance for Brits.  They are four very popular TV soap opera in the UK, but I never watched any of them in all the years I lived there.  All British soap operas seem to be based on the idea of bums-in-the-slums and I am not interested.

I have never had an espresso coffee.  Cappuccino, yes, in quantity.  The occasional latte. Drip filter coffee of all varieties, including decaf, since I was a youngster.  Ditto instant.  But never espresso.  Come to that, I have never had a Martini. Or a margarita.  Actually there is any number of drinks and cocktails I haven’t tried.  I must be living a very sheltered life.

I have never done jury duty, and probably never will.  I can’t serve here unless I become a US citizen, and when we return to Britain I shall, as a former police officer, be exempt.

I have never been to an Indian restaurant.  In England, these are everywhere, and Indian food is extremely popular, with curry apparently the favourite dish nationally.  I can’t stand the stuff, or any kind of Indian food, which seems to me to bear a passing resemblance to sewage.  So, while almost everyone I knew in England had a favourite Indian restaurant (usually called Taj Mahal  or The Star of Bengal), I have never set foot in one.  They are far easier to avoid here. In the town where I live I believe there are two, but I couldn’t tell you where.

I have never been scuba diving.   I’d like to try, because I love the sea.  I expect I shall one day.

I have never used cruise control on my car, or on any car.  We bought our Ford in 2001 and it is still going very well, never causing problems, and I suspect we’ll have it for some years yet.  There are four buttons on the crossbar of the steering wheel which, I believe, are something to do with cruise control but in 8 years I have never pressed any of them.

I have never played golf.  I know people can get obsessed by the game.  My ex-wife, for example, fell a happy victim to it, but I just do not see the attraction.

I have never changed a tire (or tyre, as I instinctively want to write it).   This is simply a matter of good fortune on my part, never having had to.  I expect I am tempting fate by writing that and will find myself needing to change a tire before the week is out.  I am probably tempting fate with my next “never” but…

I have never broken a bone.  Stupid thing to day!
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Thursday Thirteen #85

I’m asking for your help again, friendly TTers!   This week I’m listing some books I have bought or otherwise acquired but haven’t got round to reading yet.  Do any of you know any of these?  Can you recommend any, or warn me against any?   All comments of all kinds will be most gratefully received.

13 Books from my TBR shelf

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