A rather nice family moved in next door to us a couple of months ago. The way people are, we haven’t really had much to do with them, but they seem very pleasant. They have a couple of little dogs and two small daughters of, I’m guessing, ten and six. We often see them walking their dogs or riding their bikes around the complex, and they always seem very interested, for some reason, in watching me watering and tending the avocados I have growing in pots out front.
We have three indoor cats – apartment rules; we can’t let them roam. One day one of the little girls asked me if we had a cat, because I think she had seen one of them through the window. I told her we had three, and asked if she would like to see one. When she said yes I went indoors and brought out Sam, our Siamese, and while I held him to make sure he wouldn’t be off exploring the neighbourhood, which he would have done given half a chance, she petted him for a minute or two. Then I put Sam back inside the house and we said goodbye.
The thing is, five years ago I wouldn’t have thought twice about asking her inside to meet all three of our cats and make a fuss of them, which they would have enjoyed. But these days, I didn’t consider it for even a moment. The world has become so utterly irrational and paranoid has about children that I don’t even like to talk to these girls unless there is another adult present. It’s a great shame that these barriers are being erected, it can’t be doing anyone any good, and it’s not a happy commentary on the times we live in.
I rather have another adult feel that we live in an irrational & paranoid world, than risk that one of these adults near my children may hurt them. (nothing personal)
Posted by: EuroPosh | May 15, 2007 at 12:42 PM
ACK! I think blogger just ate my LOOOONG comment (forgive me if this posts twice)
...as I said the FIRST time, it's a damn shame, this world we live in. I worked in a school (kids age 3 - 16) and if one of them hurt themselves on the playground, or whatever, we couldn't even HUG them for comfort! Isn't that horrible?
How are children supposed to know/understand what a normal/healthy/comfortable relationship with an adult is??
Sad that we let a few perverts ruin our relationships with our children.
Posted by: Wylie Kinson | May 15, 2007 at 04:17 PM
Do you know, as soon as you asked whether she would like to see one, I held my breath. They are the words that every parent dreads their child saying 'yes' to. I know....I know, it is so awfully sad that the world has become that way. But I agrre with the comment above. You just never know. And it just goes to show how easly a child will say 'Yes.'
Posted by: Miss Understood | May 15, 2007 at 04:19 PM
I hate it too. I live in a gated community and yesterday my son and 2 friends were playing basketball in my driveway. I happened to see through the window a car pull into the driveway. I called out the door and one of the friends said, "It's just someone turning around." Then the friend came in the house and said, "Where are Rory and Ross?" They had happened to choose that moment to hide. But I didn't know that and I went into a panic. I had visions of my blue-eyed son being lured away with promises of escaping the slavery of having to feed the dog EVERY day. I tried to figure out how I was going to tell the other mom that her son was, um, missing and um, seemed to have been kidnapped ON MY WATCH!
Did we really not have to worry about that stuff when we were young? Or did we just not have access to the sensationalistic national media taking every isolated incident and making it a trend?
Posted by: Di | May 15, 2007 at 10:23 PM
Yes, Wylie and Di, you are so right. We knew never to get into a car with strangers, never to accept sweets from strangers or to tell people information about ourselves or where we lived. A few very sensible elementary precautions. But these days we are indoctrinating into our children, through our own paranoia, the belief that every adult, known or unknown, who takes note of their existence, means them harm. We risk raising a hostile, isolated generation, unable to form any sort of relationship without the suspicion that it is a subterfuge, covering up very dark intentions. Is there any evidence at all that our attitudes have made any reduction in assaults on children? Why don’t we just keep our kids in hermetically sealed containers until they are eighteen?
Posted by: Nicholas | May 16, 2007 at 04:01 AM
It is an interesting post because you are right the world is different. Like you said it used to be about getting into cars with strangers or accepting sweets but now it is a totally different era. I was walking past a children's outdoor jungle gym the other day, and I saw a man sitting there watching the kids play. In my head I immediately thought this was wrong but it was highly likely he was a father watching his child play. But in my head I had labelled him. I feel so sorry for you guys these days, it must be like a minefield for you.
Posted by: sugar007 | May 16, 2007 at 05:25 AM
What's so scary and strange about the world we live in is that we don't take the time to know our neighbours. Growing up, my family knew everyone that lived on our street and we collectively formed what is now called a neighbourhood watch. My father left his large toolbox outside, overnight, and the next morning they were still there. I doubt that would happen now.
Posted by: Christine | May 17, 2007 at 09:47 AM