Thursday Thirteen #18

                         THURSDAY THIRTEEN

I was stuck for a TT subject this week.  I pondered doing the old "13 Things on my Desk" one again, and for a few moments even contemplated the "13 random thoughts" one, or "13 Cute Photos of my Cat."  But luckily I came to my senses and I offer you this one.  I have many pairs of socks in my sock drawer.  Except for a few light grey ones I wear at the gym, and one very vulgar pair with obscene pub signs of Olde England on them, they are all black, because black socks go with almost everything.   So, I am proud to offer for your consideration:

Thirteen Pairs of Socks from my Sock Drawer.

1.   I was bequeathed this pair by my late, homeless great-uncle Siegfried, known to the police as “Siggy the Stink”.  He was wearing them when they found him under a pile of  disused chicken sexers’ uniforms, just before rigor mortis set in.  I wear them with reverence.

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2.   I won this pair in the short-lived British Sock Lottery.  I got five numbers out of six. One more number and I would have won several million pairs of socks.

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3.  An interesting pair, this.  They were plugging up the neck of a bottle I found on the beach.  Inside the bottle was a message that read:  “Help!  I am stuck on an island with Jimmy Hoffa, Martin Borman and Amelia Earhart. signed Glenn Miller”   I kept the socks but threw away the message.  I wonder if it was important.

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4.  My wife gave me this pair on our honeymoon.  True to her playful nature, she gave me the left sock on the Monday and the right sock on the Thursday.  I wouldn’t have minded, but those three days of having to hop everywhere really took it out of me.

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5.  My cousin Deirdre knitted this pair for me.  She always gives socks to everyone in the family at Christmas. She must spend all year knitting away. Amazing when you realize she is completely deaf in both kneecaps.

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6.  A couple of young men came to the front door some weeks ago and asked if I’d like them to tell me about Jesus.  I said I wouldn’t, but if they were giving out socks I’d take a pair. This is the one.

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7.   I was sitting at a stop light the other day when a rather scruffy looking individual began, unasked, to wipe my windshield with these two socks soaked in dirty water.  After he had done it for a few seconds he asked me for a tip.  The best tip I could think of on the spur of the moment was: Never try to whistle with your mouth full of mashed potato.  Unfortunately the lights changed just then, and as I drove away I was unable to hear his words of gratitude. However, he threw the socks at me as a parting gift. .

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8.  Wondering what to do with those unwanted car seat covers?  No need to throw them away and add to landfill problems. Do what I did – turn them into a pair of socks!

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9.   I have lined this pair with tin foil so that the aliens in the invisible spacecraft hovering above my house can’t gather information about my feet.

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10.  My father gave me this pair when I was five years old. “One day, my son,” he said, “you will be able to wear these.”   What joy, what celebrations, when I was finally able to wear them without surplus fabric flapping about, making it look as though I was treading on baby bats!

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11.   I did a big favour for a friend. He was so grateful that he offered me the shirt off his back.  I was a bit embarrassed at this and gracefully refused.  He was very insistent and after a while we compromised and he gave me the socks off his feet.

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12.  Rather a beautiful story, this.  One snowy Christmas morning I found this pair abandoned on my doorstep.  Of course, I took them in and gave them a home, and they have been living happily in my sock drawer ever since.

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13.   When I got home from the antique book fair, I opened the copy of Pavel Zygonio’s Advanced Calculus and Flower Arranging  that I had just bought and I found that someone had pressed this pair of socks between the pages.  They were almost as good as new.

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Comments

[PJ]

You're bloody bonkers!!

[atomicgirl]

Wow! Yep, I can really see that they're all black. LOL.

[Sue]

Hahahahaha!!!! My hubby only wears black socks too, but he usually just grabs them at Wal-Mart. Your socks have such great stories!

Happy TT!

[MamaLee]

YOWza. Hope they are clean! Happy TT!

[Comedy Plus]

“Help! I am stuck on an island with Jimmy Hoffa, Martin Borman and Amelia Earhart. signed Glenn Miller” I kept the socks but threw away the message. I wonder if it was important. Bwahahahah. Now that had me on the floor. Nice twist here. I enjoyed it very much. Have a great TT. :)

[Suprina]

Wow!
Great T13!

[Chelle Y.]

I am laughing so hard right now. That's pretty funny!

Happy TT!

[Thomma Lyn]

LMAO!!! This might just be the funniest T13 I have ever read, and I've read a lot of funny ones! Great job, Nicholas! I may never recover. ;-D

And ha, I must have taken leave of my senses 'cause my T13 this week *is* thirteen photos (and accompanying commentary) about my cats! :-D

Happy TT to you!

[Malcolm]

This TT was hilarious. I really liked #s 3, 4, and 7.

[Gloria]

Oh my goodness, HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAA! This must be the best TT I've come across so far! So yes, I can see what profound differences there are there. At least now all your readers will know what to get you for birthdays, a black sock as present to you will never fail, will it? One can never have enough socks. :D

Psst: About my Thankful Thursday, while I can't say I'm thankful for him I guess I'm thankful that his situation made me thankful (uh) for having full sets of limbs. No worries, I love left wing comments to neutralize some fundamentalist ones. ;) As you can see, I'm diluted in that sense. I'm Catholic, we couldn't care less one way or another somehow. But then again, I don't speak for all Catholics! (Last sentence added for insurance. Mehehehe!)

[Splash]

Oh, sorry I am the one who barfed up the ones on your doorstep. Sometimes I eat things that are, well, Unnatural, but I am a Labrador and that is what we do.

[thebluestbutterfly]

You found socks on your doorstep???
You have no idea how much I am laughing right now.

[Anna]

Very very funny.....So many black socks with so many memories!

[samulli]

He, he, I must admit when I saw the topic, my first reaction was WTF?
I am glad I read on. Thanks for the giggles! :o)

[Shauna Quirk]

You are so funny...I love it!

[PRACTiCAL CHiCK]

Interesting TT, LOL. Knitted socks.. I can't knit but I can crochet!

[The Gal Herself]

I loved this, don't get me wrong. But you do realize you're nuts, right? Jesus socks, alien socks ...

[Rasmenia]

Wow. I've never heard more interesting bits of sock folklore.

I think you win the award for most hilarious & original T13.

Thanks for stopping by & checking mine out - have a great Thursday!

[spyscribbler]

ROFLMAO! This is the most original TT I've ever seen!

People still knit socks? Happy TT!

[Jennie]

Excellent! Did you also take part in the great sock exchange of 2003? People around the world came together to send their socks abroad for new experiences.

[mar]

What a creative and amusing TT!! now I might even consider to use a favorite sock as a bookmarker... That's a wonderful recycling project for socks missing a partner :)
happy thirteening!

[Callista]

LOL that was great! I'll be featuring this post and your blog on my blog on Monday! LOLOLOLOL

[kelly]

LOL! That was so creative and the most original TT I have seen yet.

Thanks for the fantastic read! You belong in my family... we make up stories like this ALL the time!

Good times are had when you have slightly insane people around!

[Ash]

OhmiGAWd, Still ROTFL! Damn excelalnt list, and so creative! Rockin man, rockin!

[Aimee]

LOL! Ok, that has got to be the most creative TT I have ever read. Way to go!

[Titania]

This was brilliant! I really had a good laugh. I see you had quite a few comments this week. Well done.

[Di]

Di's Book Blog says: Brilliant! Unique! A genre-bending take on Thursday Thirteen!!!

And for those who want WAY too much info on me...yesterday was a three pairs of socks kind of day since I played 3 rounds of 9 holes of golf (that's 27 holes for the golf challenged) in 100 degree and melty, drippy humidity. You are welcome...I will NOT be posting pictures of any of those socks!

[Linda]

What a wonderful TT. I am chuckling merrily away.

I, on the other hand, have become known as a Collector of Weird Socks. And because they are all different and I am too lazy to match them, I pretend to be eccentric and never wear pairs. So sometimes I will have one pink sock and one that's covered in sheep.

Thank you for visiting my TT. I have another at http://www.markeroni.com/blog/ if you're interested. Meanwhile, I think I'll add you to my feed reader.

[Wylie Kinson]

Oh Nicholas - this is the bestest and originalistest TT I've ever read. I dub thee "KING OF TT" for the week. Man, you're too funny... why don't you write comedy?

btw - you got lots of hits! See what happens when you shush your inner grumpy?? :)

[Joanne]

Hysterical! I am glad I caught this 13. Very, very creative.

[beautyredefined]

Hi! I just popped over from ravensroads.com, and she mentioned your sock TT. Quite unique and creative!

[alpha.dogma]

Brilliant. The best 13 list I've read.

[WhatWorksForMom]

FREAKING HILARIOUS!

Genius!! LOL!

[Gattina]

It's a miracle ! 13 pairs of BLACK socks and not one single hole ! I think you are well equipped for funerals. Lol !

[April]

lol htat was hilarious