Thursday Thirteen #90

After every flight, airline pilots fill out a form called a gripe sheet, which conveys to the mechanics any problems encountered with the aircraft during the flight. The mechanics correct the problem and then respond in writing on the lower half of the form what action was taken. Here are thirteen ACTUAL logged maintenance complaints and problems as submitted by pilots of the Australian airline Qantas and the solution recorded by maintenance engineers.

By the way, Qantas is the only major airline that has never had an accident:

(P = The problem logged by the pilot.)
(S = The solution and action taken by the mechanics.)

P: Left inside main tire almost needs replacement.
S: Almost replaced left inside main tire.

P: Test flight OK, except auto-land very rough.
S: Auto-land not installed on this aircraft.

P: Something loose in cockpit.
S: Something tightened in cockpit.

P: Dead bugs on windshield.
S: Live bugs on back-order.

P: Autopilot in altitude-hold mode produces a 200 feet
per minute descent.
S: Cannot reproduce problem on ground.

P: Evidence of leak on right main landing gear.
S: Evidence removed.

P: DME volume unbelievably loud.
S: DME volume set to more believable level.

P: Friction locks cause throttle levers to stick.
S: That's what they're there for.

P: Suspect crack in windshield.
S: Suspect you're right.

P: Number 3 engine missing.
S: Engine found on right wing after brief search.

P: Aircraft handles funny.
S: Aircraft warned to straighten up, fly right, and be serious.

P: Target radar hums.
S: Reprogrammed target radar with lyrics.

P: Mouse in cockpit.
S: Cat installed.

.

Comments

[Tina in Houston]

Thanks for the LOL Nick! Hope you're staying warm in jolly ole England!

[Alice Audrey]

LOL!!! These are too good.

[Grandma]

Funny, but a bit scary. Sure glad you mentioned that they'd never had an accident.LOL

[storyteller]

Ohmygosh ... these a hilarious to read but scary to consider for real. Thanks for the laughter and Happy New Year to you and yours ;-)
Hugs and blessings,

[Shelley Munro]

I've read these before. Someone in maintenance has a wicked sense of humor. Happy New Year.

[Harriet]

Cute :)
Happy New Year to you :)

[Janet]

Love that door! I forwarded this on to my cousin as her husband is a retired pilot. Happy New Year!

[Mary Emken]

HAPPY NEW YEAR to all of you! Great picture
of the house. Thanks for making me laugh. Keep warm and cozy.

[Julia Smith]

OMG - LOL!

Hey, don't make fun - where else can I use these handy 3-letter hieroglyphs?

It's hard to choose a favorite amongst these, but I'll have to go with:
'P: Number 3 engine missing.
S: Engine found on right wing after brief search.'

[colleen]

Scary stuff but reads like joke punchlines!

[Cricket]

These are too funny - the mechanical crew has a tremendous sense of humor.